The reality

For a few weeks leading up to the wedding I was shopping for a new dress. Becky bought her dress in February when we were in Florida. So Ally knew there was a wedding coming up and no kids were invited (or allowed) to attend. She understood no new dress for her. We explained that Aunt Beth was coming to spend the day and night with her. We called it a "sleepover" with Aunt Beth.

All was good. Ally was a bit bummed to miss the wedding - she has attended 4 in the past 4 years so she is well versed in wedding and the fun one can have at them.

But OK.

Then Saturday night a week before the wedding we were in the car driving home after dinner and talking about how next weekend Aunt Beth was coming and Mama and Mommy were going away.

And she finally got it.

We were leaving her.

She was inconsolable.

She cried hysterically in the car the whole way home.

It was the longest 12 minutes in the car.

We finally got home. We cuddled, we snuggled, we chatted. Every time she got calmed down she would think about it and the tears would start all over again.

"I am going to miss you"

"Why can't kids come"

"Why are you leaving me?"

It was pretty awful.

It took me about 2 hours to get her to go to sleep.

The next day was rough and I settled in to bracing myself to a week of meltdowns and high emotions.

During the week we heard her listening to the story book my parents recorded her for Christmas. I think hearing their voices was a great comfort to her.

 One thing that Ally and I talked  about during one of our snuggle sessions before bed was "what can we do about it" her words for how can we fix how she is feeling.

We talked about all the fun things she and Aunt Beth would do. But she wanted something specific. "something special mommy"

I offered to make her a photo book with pictures of our family. She thought that was a great idea.

So I spent Sunday last week creating on online.

The book arrived on Wednesday - here she and Becky are opening the package.

Can you tell she likes the book?

She looked at several times a day the rest of  the week and left it displayed prominently in her room so she could see/find it at all times.

I managed to have pictures of the 3 of us several times a year for the past 5 years.

Then Ally wanted to take some pictures of Becky and me.

She asked for a silly pose.

Friday night before we left was difficult. Ally was so excited for Aunt Beth - the first thing she asked when we picked her up at school was "Aunt Beth is coming today? When?" Beth's flight was delayed but she arrived after dinner and Ally went with Becky to pick her up at the airport.

Bedtime was filled with tears and emotions.

At one point I told Ally we were only  going to be gone for 1 day. And she replied "its a day and a half" She was right and I tried hard not to giggle at her despair.

Sleep came about 2 hours late.

Then at 345AM Beth walked into our room and said "Ally wants mommy". Beth was sleeping in Ally's room on the futon.

So I get up (Becky stays asleep) and I spent  the next 2 1/2 hours trying to get Ally to sleep. She would dose off and then the minute I got up or I even made it out of the room once she would wake up and cry out.

It was heartbreaking.

The mix of emotions - she was so tired, and so happy to spend time with Aunt Beth, and so scared of us leaving her. At one point she explained that she "likes things the same" and that with Aunt Beth its not the same as mama and mommy. Confusion and anxiety are hard for a 5 year old.

I told her I knew she could do it.

But she persevered.

Our cab came at 645AM and by then she was watching TV and was OK with us leaving. We got a cursory good bye. No more crying and that was it.

Aunt Beth and Ally had a great weekend.

It would have been hard to have a bad weekend with Aunt Beth. She is pretty much the best Aunt ever.

Here they are at Ally's music performance.

All year Ally has taken a music class after school and the year end performance (show) was on Sunday during our flight home. So Aunt Beth took Ally and she even took a video of the whole performance so Becky and I could see it.

My beautiful girl all dressed up. I bought her some new shoes - black patent leather with a tiny heel, but since she is a practical girl like her mommy she said they were too uncomfortable to walk in and we returned those and she picked out these pink sparkly ballet flats. She loves them!

Aunt Beth and Ally did a lot of shrinky dinks - its a jewelry tree full of butterfly and bird shrinky dinks

And to our surprise there is a surprise for mama and mommy!

In talking about the weekend now, Ally says she had fun with Beth but that she missed us, and that at bedtime she cried a little. Beth was great, she broke the rules, she played, she entertained, she crafted and she was there for Ally.

We had a great time at the wedding and enjoyed ourselves knowing Ally was in good hands for the night.