I got home from work one day and Ally and Becky were working in the yard. Or I guess I should say that Becky was working planting flowers and herbs and then watered not only the plants but Ally as well.
Ally loved it - she begged for more
I took over the sprinkling duty
Ally was so wet
Water came out of her shoes when she took them off!
This is her determined and pensive look- this summer she has started sucking on her hair.
It drives me nuts.
But then I remembered I chewed my hair for a long time as a child.
I so remember my mom telling me to stop it.
One of the projects we were working on was a memorial to Bryce. Ally said she wanted have something in the yard to remember him by. She asked for a rock with his name on it. I picked this one up from a job site and let her write his name on it - she also added a heart.
Ally and Becky planting a cornflower plant we bought to commemorate Bryce
The complete memorial.
About 4 nights after Bryce died Ally finally was able to mourn. It was awful.
It was a later than usual bedtime and a few minutes after lights out Ally looked at me with huge tears in her eyes and started crying "I miss Brycee" she wailed, she hung on to me for dear life, she clung to me actually. We talked about his death, his life, what we missed. I told her I missed him too. I answered all of her questions about his death and why and how he got sick.
She was so sad.
I told my mom it was the hardest night of being a parent yet.
It was so hard to have my little girl so sad and inconsolable and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. Just hold her, rub her back and listen and answer.
After about an hour I finally suggested we do something special to cheer her up. She asked what and I suggested going to sleep in mommy and mama's bed. She did not think that was special enough!
So we watched TV - and episode of Dinosaur Train and then went to sleep in our bed.
She fell asleep very quickly.
But every night since then she cries a little before falling asleep and tells me she misses Brycee.
I miss him too I tell her.
But we need to remember him and then think of happy things.
Happy things like a smiling 5 year old girl soaking wet in her clothes from running through the hose in our tiny front yard.
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